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Holiday 2011 Hat Dash

2011-12-14 by . 9 comments

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What’s that you say? The holidays? Yes, yes, I know. I made that mistake once; I won’t forget again.

Oh, what’s this? A gift? Why, thank you! Oh, it’s not for me? It’s for the users? I see. Well open it and show them what it is.

Well, a hat! That does sound nice. But what good is a hat if you can’t wear it around? Oh. Oh I see! A digital hat to go on your digital head. And not just one hat? Dozens of hats to choose from! My, my. Yes, you have my attention. Please, go on.

Game hats! Of course, we are all about the games here, so there must be game hats. Ah, and I see what you did there, choosing the games people will likely be playing over the holidays. Very clever. And what’s this over here? Holiday hats? Well, I did always fancy some reindeer antlers. And surprise hats? Oh, my. Yes, I think they will like this.

Aha, of course, the catch. I knew there had to be one. So, I must earn each hat before I can wear it? Well, I suppose one has to keep the riff-raff out somehow. How will I earn them? By participating in the site? But I was going to do that anyway! How else would I admire all the wonderful hats on people’s…what did you call them? Gravatars?

But only for a limited time? Beginning when? December 17th! But that’s so soon! I have hardly any time to prepare! And ending January 6th? Just over two weeks to earn all these hats! Well, I have some work to do!

No, I’m very sorry, I simply cannot stay any longer. There are things I need to take care of, very important things that simply must be done before the weekend! Thank you ever so much for your time, it was quite inspiring. What’s that? Why, off to the furniture store of course! I can’t just pile my hats in the corner, now can I? This calls for a proper display case!

Yes, good luck to you as well! I suppose you’ll need it more than I! Ha ha, very good. Well, we’ll just have to see who has more in a few weeks, now won’t we? What did you say? A real hat for the winner? Yes, I suppose that’s fitting. I’ll be sure to send you my measurements — I have quite a big head, after all. You might say, a head made for spectacular hats! I simply won’t be denied. I MUST HAVE MORE HATS!

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9 Comments

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  • Powerlord says:

    How can you mention digital hats and not mention Team Fortress 2?

    Just for that, maybe I’ll update my Gravatar with my Spy’s TF2 hats. >:|

    They aren’t just hats, they’re hats with particle effects!

  • LessPopMoreFizz says:

    Gaming.StackExchange is the internets foremost Q&A themed Hat Simulator?

  • Anna Lear says:

    So… what does this actually mean?

  • Juan Manuel says:

    So… what does this actually mean?

    Hats

  • Pat H says:

    I saw this and immediately thought of TF2 also.

  • Ashley Nunn says:

    I read this. Three times. And am still like “What is going on?” which I suspect is the point here, to drum up interest in whatever this is going to be, but it just seems unnecessarily oblique.

  • agent86 says:

    I was going to say “huh?” but it looks like everyone’s already beat me to it. I guess I’ll go with “wha?” instead.

  • Powerlord says:

    For those of you interested in digital hats, TF2 has a double drop rate week this week in addition to the start of the Australian Christmas 2011 event (which includes a new map, cp_foundry) and new items (new Engineer set and Pyro set announced so far, with additional announcements today).

  • Someone should rewrite this in a way that doesn’t require 30 question marks and actually conveys information

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